Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out! I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.īartender: Oh man that really sucks! What did you do? One says to the other, ‘Man, I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there!'” - heyscruffalobill 20. A man is sitting at the bar, his head in his hands. “I’ve never had a lentil on my chest.” - 19. Two deer walk out of a gay bar… “Because she outgrew her B-shells!” - Gvanderv 18. What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? “They always come in a little behind.” - Whitefox07 17. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? “…it’s not hard.” - hlckhrt 16. Why don’t pedophiles compete in races? “If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck.” - WeFeedBees 15. How do you find a blind man on a nude beach? Depends.” - kind2311 14. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. “Dress her up as an altar boy.” - DrinkableCrisps 13. Know what old pussy tastes like? “…is that sexual harassment?” - odies1971 12. How do you get a Nun pregnant? They’re stuck up cunts.” - NuclearJesusMan 11. If a midget tells you your hair smells nice… “She has to chew before she swallows.” - exstatik 10. Three tampons are sitting at a bus stop. “She gagged.” - WrittenRage 9. How do you know that you have a high sperm count? “Uncles.” - SirTurkTurkelton 8. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? “You get your palm red for free.” - Wedding_Bar_Fight 7. What’s worse than ants in your pants? I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.’ĭoctor: ‘Because I’m trying to examine you.'” - 72scott72 6. What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? “The doctor walks in: ‘Sir, I have some bad news. “Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.” - ThouDanKing 5. A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office. “So few of them know how to dance.” - Jauncin 4. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? “Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.” - Max_W_ 3. Why do mice have such small balls? “Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.” - brutalanglosaxon 2. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?
Unsplash / Lana Abie 1. Why did the sperm cross the road?
If you’re not offended easily, these dirty jokes from Ask Reddit will have you busting a gut laughing.
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